Monday, April 21, 2008

4/12/08 - Drunks with Guns...

...or, Adventures in Binge Drinking II.

due to an overwhelming outcry (meaning one drunk said somethin), i am writing up the events of april 12th, when there werent no good shows to go to... be forewarned - this one is real inside, mainly for my buddies...

so it was saturday, and there werent no good shows to go to (i mean it was a baaad saturday), so we all decided to head over to the piledriver's house to drink oh-so-heavily in celebration of his marriage to Swamp Boy. jus kiddin (they're only engaged). here's what i remember:

in attendance: me, tk, the piledriver and his randy little dog, & swamp boy.

Swamp Boy tried to kill us all by servin us uncooked pork products. blarch. thanks be to jeebus we had all that alcyhol in us.

waaaay too many masturbatory sock jokes from them military types. what a sick bunch.

we all proved we truly have a Death Wish by stumbling into the piledriver's Gun Room and alternately fondling and ogling his private arsenal. jeebus chrust, i know where i'm headin when armageddon hits. all hail Lord Piledriver! um, soory aboot the whole "glow-in-the-dark lefty" thing. heh heh. it's Lord Lefty from now on.

got a demonstration of krav maga techniques when lord lefty attacked his punching bag thingy in his dining room (he has a very, uh, unique decorating sense). jeebus chrust II, i wouldnt wanna make that dude mad - methinks he has some Anger Issues. or maybe there's some freudian thing goin on there, being as how his gym bag is One Giant Phallic Symbol.

went out to the garage to check out lord lefty's motocycle, which has a color scheme meant to show his support of the gay rights movement.

once again - lotsa great music from our ipods. treated my buds to a rousing performance of "clint eastwood", although not memorized. workin on it...

used our favorite toy to gauge our drunkenness (not that we were even thinkin of drivin - 'twas just for fun), and the piledriver lord lefty proved he was twice the man of the rest of us by blowin a manly .08 to our piddly .04s.

crashed in a spare room, leavin his rat-fink dog free reign to piss on my bag of dvds. thanks, bitch.

2 comments:

clitsounds said...

clit eastwood was the name of my first band...

Swamp Boy said...

The only one who got undercooked pork was you. Think abou tit. Tit. heh heh heh. about tit.